Friday, January 8, 2010

An interesting fads in gym wear

I went to the gym this morning to do a long cardio workout. This gave me ample time to people watch; one of my favorite things to do. As I was putting my purse and sweatshirt in my locker a woman walking out to the floor caught my eye. She was wearing an oversized shirt and light gray leggings...with a zipper running up each leg. I had to do a double take. They were zipped, thank God, but who in their right mind would wear something with a visible, silver zipper to workout in?! Is that comfortable? And exactly what purpose does that serve? She was wearing capri's so it's not like they were pants and you could unzip them to fit over your shoes.

I rolled that fashion anomaly around in my head as I got on my elliptical and what to my wondering eyes should appear, but another woman with a huge, silver zipper on her pants. Except, she had her shirt tucked into her skin tight pants and the zipper was on the hip down to her mid-thigh. WTF, indeed. This cold weather and intermittent snow has got everyone dressing like it's the 80's come back to haunt us.

I managed to get myself refocused on my workout, because one of my favorite workout songs, "She Wolf" (don't judge) came on. My song had just ended when I spotted it. A zipper on the back of this woman's pants. This one wasn't silver and it was small; meant to be a pocket for keys, I assume. I wouldn't have noticed it except for the fact that there was no pocket, just ass. Seriously, I could see skin and I'm looking around thinking, "Does anyone else see that?!" I looked a little harder thinking I was just seeing things, but nope, definitely skin. Gross. Did the pants come like that or did the pocket rip out and she just didn't realize that a 2" line on her derriere was hanging out there for the world to see.

What a disturbing workout. I mean, how many zippers on tight, sweaty clothing did I have to see?? I managed to get myself back into my workout when I saw him. You know what I'm talking about. I know you've seen him somewhere. Either at the beach, at a pool...the guy that looks like he's wearing a sweater when he's not. And this guy was proud, really proud, of his hairiness. How do I know that? Well, let's just say he was wearing the minimum amount of clothing allowable in a public place like this. He was wearing a thin tank top and an inappropriately tight pair of biking shorts. Lovely image, I know. It's burned into my retinas.

Hairy man was running on a treadmill diagonal from me and boy was he sweaty. I could see the sweat sliding around on his hairy neck and shoulders...blech!!! He didn't have any zippers, but I think it was the worse of the 4 sightings. My thought is that if you're really that hairy and don't want to do anything about it, wear a t-shirt! No one wants to see your curly, frizzy shoulder hair and neck beard drip all over communal gym equipment. As if the sweating wasn't enough, he started throwing his hands in the air like Rocky, screaming out some song and then doing shadowboxing all while still running on the treadmill. He's the kind of guy they feature in those Budlight 'Real Men of Genius' commercials.

If only I had my phone with me I could have gotten some pictures of these awesome fashions...

1 comment:

suburban housewife said...

I would like pictures of zippers for a point of reference please. The ladies in my gym wear next to nothing most of the time which may be worse.