Monday, June 1, 2009


Vegas was a blast!!! We had so much fun! I ended up winning quite a bit at the roulette tables. :) I knew it was going to be a good trip when I won $62 at my first slot machine. We can't wait to go back.

We stayed at the Mandalay Bay and the pool was really nice, but filled up quickly. We had to get to the pool by 8am to get a seat--kind of a pain, but we were up anyway. We usually left the pool in the early afternoon, got lunch and then went sight-seeing/gambling/trouble-making until it was time to get ready for dinner.

The second day we were there, we got massages at the Spa. I absolutely loved my massage!!! Although, the guy kind of weirded me out by asking if I played sports because I had really tight legs. I saw Mr. B after his massage and I knew something happened just by the look on his face.

He didn't come clean until we were back in the hotel room. His lady told him to get undressed and get on the bed....and he did just that. He completely ignored the fact that there was a sheet on the bed. Wonderful. Ok, so now the woman comes back into the room and she must have thought, " Oh, God...not another perv." So he's on his stomach with his ass all out in plain view and she starts to lift up the sheets for him so he can 'shimmy' under them. Now, if that were me, and I was the one giving the massage, I would have said something like, "Oh, I must not have been clear....I'll step out so you can get under the sheet." So he says that he had to kind of caterpiller up (ass in the air) to get under the sheet, which means he was definitely all out. How freakin awkward???!!! I don't know how he was able to relax after that...ha ha ha!!

We saw "O" at the Bellagio and it was amazing!!! I don't know how those people do those things with their bodies; it's just crazy. I'm kind of jealous :P We had dinner at Olives and it was just ok...not great, just good.

I don't know what is wrong with people when they walk. They seem to take the path of most resistance. I mean, honestly, you cannot miss me!! Even if you're short you have to see my humongous feet all the way down there. I had so many people walk right into me and I'm standing there like, "Hello?! WTF is wrong with you people?! Did I magically transport back to Europe where that's the norm?!" Mr. B and I were joking that if I ever had the gall to be a stand-up comedian that The Path of Most Resistance would be the name of my schtick and it would be all about how annoying people are and how it seems like it's some people's jobs just to annoy others. I think it's promising, but I'd never go through with it. Maybe if I write a book I'll use that--no stealing my phrase! (unless I'm properly given credit, of course)

The plane ride home was HORRIBLE. We flew US Air and the have to be the most terrible airline ever. Not only do they charge you $15 for your first checked bag, but they only gave us one drink during our 4.5 hour flight AND there was no movie. CHEAP!!! The guy next to me was quiet and polite the entire 4 hours until the pilot said we were ready to land. We didn't land for another 30 minutes and the guy next to me was freaking the eff out. I thought I was going to have to stop him from taking the plane down. He was a raving lunatic--talking about how the Philly airport sucks, how the pilot doesn't know what he's doing, blah blah blah. When we finally landed he immediately took out his cell and started calling everyone he knew to talk about how horrible the Philly airport is and how he went to Vegas for a 15 minute interview. Whoop-dee-doo Mr. I'msoeffingimportant; who gives a flying eff?

Other than those few mishaps, the trip was great and very relaxing. Unfortunately, today was my first day back to work and it was drama-filled. Yay for welcoming Mrs. B back with open arms and rainbows :(....

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